Reflection by Anne Murphy, Women of the Spirit Community, Phoenix, AZ

Inside out and upside down

For 85 years, I thought I was in control of myself, my ideas and my world. Then, I turned 86 and have had to learn a whole new self, a whole new world of ideas and the world is upside down and inside out, it seems.

It’s nice to be in control…of time, of myriad choices…such as: what to wear today, what to accomplish today and with whom to spend time and energy doing the variety of everyday things that matter to me and to those I’m with.

That all changed beginning on August 27, 2021. I had a minor stroke while on a Zoom call with special friends. Their quick thinking brought
the fire department to my front door just ahead of them. All reports still say it was a minor stroke because I was on a blood thinner. The outcome of tests and more tests was a change of meds for high blood pressure. It seemed that life might hold ‘normal’ events once again when I was struck by shingles in the left eye. Chapter Two began with a collapse in the parking lot of the eye doctor.

The second sojourn in the hospital addressed blood pressure again. The eye was swollen shut for the better part of two weeks in a rehab center and pain I cannot even describe, unless you are familiar with shingles. The hardest part of it now is limited reading time and the longing to sleep often.

What is upside down and inside out is the impact on my lifestyle. I have moved into an assisted living facility, now a permanent solution to the limits of my independence. The incredible new definition for aging and personal acceptance of these limits is the challenge of each new day.

The quote from years ago that resonates most clearly is: The medicine may be bitter, the face you make depends on you. So, I find myself working on my face.

My morning prayer for years has been: All that I am, all that I have, all that I’ll ever be, I offer now to You. God took me up on that! So, how totally did I mean it all those mornings? Can I make it the measure of my discovering purpose and meaning in each day? How will I celebrate the gift of time available to me now? My choices!

Theresians International gave me the opportunity to Dream Big! The Five Dimensions have formed me into a believer that Community, Spirituality, Ministry, Education, and Vocation define my journey with each and every Theresian member in the world. It has been my privilege to meet many of you in my travels and workshops. That allows me to speak my heartfelt thanks for your prayers and your support as I seek new ways to live our Theresian lifestyle. We witness by embracing whatever new limits we are experiencing, knowing that we are all capable of contributing within the limits and finding joy in the process. 

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