For 85 years, I thought I was in control of myself, my ideas and my world. Then, I turned 86 and have had to learn a whole new self, a whole new world of ideas and the world is upside down and inside out, it seems.

It’s nice to be in control…of time, of myriad choices…such as: what to wear today, what to accomplish today and with whom to spend time and energy doing the variety of everyday things that matter to me and to those I’m with.

That all changed beginning on August 27, 2021. I had a minor stroke while on a Zoom call with special friends. Their quick thinking brought
the fire department to my front door just ahead of them. All reports still say it was a minor stroke because I was on a blood thinner. The outcome of tests and more tests was a change of meds for high blood pressure. It seemed that life might hold ‘normal’ events once again when I was struck by shingles in the left eye. Chapter Two began with a collapse in the parking lot of the eye doctor.

The second sojourn in the hospital addressed blood pressure again. The eye was swollen shut for the better part of two weeks in a rehab center and pain I cannot even describe, unless you are familiar with shingles. The hardest part of it now is limited reading time and the longing to sleep often.

What is upside down and inside out is the impact on my lifestyle. I have moved into an assisted living facility, now a permanent solution to the limits of my independence. The incredible new definition for aging and personal acceptance of these limits is the challenge of each new day.

The quote from years ago that resonates most clearly is: The medicine may be bitter, the face you make depends on you. So, I find myself working on my face.

My morning prayer for years has been: All that I am, all that I have, all that I’ll ever be, I offer now to You. God took me up on that! So, how totally did I mean it all those mornings? Can I make it the measure of my discovering purpose and meaning in each day? How will I celebrate the gift of time available to me now? My choices!

Theresians International gave me the opportunity to Dream Big! The Five Dimensions have formed me into a believer that Community, Spirituality, Ministry, Education, and Vocation define my journey with each and every Theresian member in the world. It has been my privilege to meet many of you in my travels and workshops. That allows me to speak my heartfelt thanks for your prayers and your support as I seek new ways to live our Theresian lifestyle. We witness by embracing whatever new limits we are experiencing, knowing that we are all capable of contributing within the limits and finding joy in the process. 

I’ve had a devotion to St. Thérèse since I was a young woman. A novena given to me by a friend has led me down a path of Spiritual Love I never expected and didn’t even know I needed. I have received roses, too! St. Thérèse has never failed to delight me with the simple, humble, even fearless love she has for Jesus and even for me!

In 1994, my family was living in Amish Country in Pennsylvania. My mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer earlier that year. Because of the great distance from Pennsylvania to Louisiana and because I had three young children in school, I was unable to be there with her and for her as she was treated for this disease. 

When the school year was finished in June of that year, the children and I loaded our station wagon and began the three-day journey to my parent’s home in Eunice, Louisiana. My husband would join us later in the week. This particular week was special because I would take Momma to her last chemo treatment and celebrate the end of these sessions. 

I had been praying daily to St. Thérèse for my mother’s healing. St. Thérèse’s own mother, St. Zelie Martin, died from breast cancer when Thérèse was only four years old. She knew the devastating results of losing her mother. 

After a long journey with three little children, we arrived at my parents’ home with much excitement and anticipation. Cousins, aunts and uncles, friends, and neighbors all welcomed us with open arms and warm hearts. Seeing my mother, so thin with no hair, was shocking and terribly sad, but I was so glad to be home. 

I went to the little bedroom where I would spend the next two weeks. As I was coming out of the room, I faced the old, faded dresser and saw, to my delight, an 8 x 10 picture of St. Thérèse! Tears of joy and consolation flooded my being. My mother didn’t have a devotion to St. Thérèse, so where did this picture come from? 

The story slowly unraveled abut a seminarian (a friend of my brother, the priest) who had walked up to my mother and gave her the image of St. Thérèse and told her she needed to have this!

I knew my heavenly friend was welcoming me, letting me know she was with me and Momma during this painful time. 

I stumbled on a blog post from songwriter, recording artist, performer and educator Carrie Newcomer that I thought might inspire some of you. Credit to Parker Palmer, author and activist, who shared a link to Newcomer's essay on his Facebook page and described her as a "healer of souls." 
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Newcomer begins her essay with a quote from Thomas Merton: “No blade of grass is not blessed.” She goes on to write about delighting in the tiniest of miracles that "always, always abound." She concludes with this:

"Go outside and take a few photos of things using a 1 inch frame. Come back, scroll through the images. Did you see something new? Did you notice something new when you looked more carefully?"

I accepted her challenge. I took a photo of the tulip in my yard (pictured above) and discovered the miraculous yellow landing pad hidden inside.

St. Thérèse of Lisieux reminds us in Story of a Soul: “If a little flower could speak, it seems to me that it would tell us quite simply all that God has done for it, without hiding any of its gifts."

What small, miraculous, and ordinary gifts does God have waiting for you?

I thought you might also enjoy Newcomer's "The Point of Arrival" video.​

by Tammy Townsend Denny, TI's Executive Director
I first encountered the Pietà at the Louverture Cleary School in Haiti in April 2017 during Mass at the school’s open-air chapel. The chapel had none of the frills we typically associate with Catholic Churches. There were no statues. No stained glass windows. No icons. A folding table draped with a white cloth served as the altar. The pews were backless wooden benches. There were no kneelers. No candles. No incense. No organ. Not even a piano. Heavy heated air overflowed with the smells of rotting waste. And in the distance, music rattled the sacred silence with a deep thump-thump base.
Sitting amid the sounds and smells of humanity, I looked up from my place on the wooden bench. The Pietà stared back at me. The image was painted on a wall that surrounded the school. I couldn’t stop staring at this beautiful divine woman (Mary) holding the crucified Jesus. In that moment, with Haiti’s harsh poverty seeping into the chapel, Mary looked like she was cradling and protecting Haiti and all the brokenness of our world. I saw love in her eyes, a mother’s love. And a mother’s protection.
A scaled replica of Michelangelo's Pietà sits on my bedroom dresser now, a gift from my husband. There are days when the brokenness of our world draws me to this image of Mary holding her son. I want to curl up in her lap and wrap myself in the folds of her dress. Maybe she would tell me a story or stroke my hair. Maybe she would hum a song as I napped. I can almost feel the warmth of being next to her, snuggled into the divine comfort of her arms and dress.
A more traditional interpretation of Michelangelo's Pietà is that Mary “presents to us the Body of Christ as a path to salvation.” She is offering us her son. Others say “there is a sense that the Madonna is letting go,” creating a dichotomy of pain and peace. Yet, I cannot stop seeing the Pietà as the feminine divine holding the brokenness of our humanity.
As we approach Mother’s Day in this month of Mary, I invite you to join me on Mary’s lap. Bring your brokenness. Bring your hurts, your challenges, your pains. Bring the fullness of your humanity. Let’s wrap ourselves in the folds of her dress and experience the comfort of divine love and protection. 

We love our Theresian community. Because of that love, we are stronger. We’re stronger in our cities, church, friendships, and families. That strength can be attributed to faithfulness and support of our “Petals.” We have regular attendance that keeps us bound together.

Careful, prayerful selection of study topics is important to our growth. During these study sessions, we readily share our understanding, ask for help in difficult areas, and respect each other’s thoughts. We’ve had some particularly rewarding topics. “The Wild Goose Series” by Fr. Dave Pivonka opened great discussions about the Holy Spirit. Ann Voskam’s One Thousand Gifts was a favorite study tool. The Cup of Our Life by Joyce Rupp yielded many insights for us, too.

The demographics of our “Petals” community is a big reason for our success. We are all retired. We each have strong leadership skills. In our own families, we are close and highly involved. We each believe that our attendance is important to the groups to which we belong. These characteristics mark our tendencies toward loyalty to Theresians.

We share group texts often. Intercessory prayers are offered in sicknesses, worries, as well as joys and successes. These contacts keep us close and involved with each other between our monthly gatherings.
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Yes, we love our “Petals of Faith Theresian Community!” We study. We share. We pray. We are strong. Thanks be to the intercession of St. Therese. Thanks be to God.

Lectio is a listening to the Word, a taking-in, gathering the Word into our depths. Read the material selected, at least once aloud, if at all possible. Then slowly re-read it until you are “sopped” or “taken up” by some particular group of words. Repeat the words; savor them until they become a part of you. Then read on to the next words until again you are called to stop, reflect, and let the words be written on your heart.
God speaks; we listen. We read the Word, or we listen to it being read to us, or recall some previously memorized Scripture. As we read the material for meditation and prayer the words are read aloud or sub-vocally so as to have a dual imprint on the brain.
Listen, hearken, assimilate, “bite into,” accept, reflect, or absorb, are the words that are often used to speak about this step.

Meditatio is allowing the Word to work within, reflecting on the material we took into the depths of our being. We may repeat it, mull it over, or memorize it, so later we can say it from heart. Prayer reading…reading slowly…over and over again to see and feel…to savor the beauty in the message…letting the words draw us to a meaning behind them, become a part of our past, the now, and available for the future. A new bud or insight, a new direction…perhaps a new “aha moment,” though often nothing is apparent at the time. Just being there and perhaps allowing ourselves to be affirmed.
Chewing and ruminating are often words used for description.

Oratio, when one says “yes” and responds in prayer. A touching of God…God touching us…unspoken ways. Prayer of adoration, of repentance, of petition, or of thanksgiving, comes with spontaneity…our speaking to and experiencing Word.

Contemplatio, communion, ‘being with’ in silence. The whole of the encounter is to draw us to completion, to wholeness. Contemplatio may come so quietly its presence is not acknowledged at first. For some people it might be like allowing peace to ebb and flow, gradually coming closer until its waters engulf you.

As we deepen our knowledge of our true selves through these prayer experiences we are called to accept and affirm the transforming changes offered at this time of communion with God. 

by Tammy Townsend Denny, Executive Director
​As I write these words, classes started for the Master of Divinity program I am enrolled in at Loyola University Chicago. I’m slowly moving through the program, taking one or two classes each semester as a part-time graduate student, and am about 1/3 of the way through my studies.

This semester I am taking a course on Ignatian Spirituality. The class is focused on elements and principles of Ignatian spirituality including the Spiritual Exercises. In addition to the academic work required for the class, we are being asked to pray an Examen at least once a week. Midway through the coursework, we will create our own Examen. Our final project is to write our spiritual autobiography.

For our first assignment, we have been asked to listen to an episode of the podcast Things Not Seen, produced by our professor Dr. David Dault. In the assigned episode, Dr. Dault interviews Bill Cain, SJ, a Jesuit priest, Peabody Award-winning screenwriter, playwright, and author of the book The Diary of Jesus Christ in which he “reimagines the stories of the Gospels from the point of view of Jesus himself.” While I have not yet read the book (I have it on order), the interview with Fr. Cain is fascinating. Have you ever imagined what it would have been like for Jesus to go back as an adult and see the place of his birth or what Mary’s reaction would have been to hear her son preach?

If you currently practice or are interested in exploring imaginative prayer, you might enjoy listening to this episode: Jesus in His Own Words: in conversation with Fr. Bill Cain, SJ. However, I would like to caution you: you might find portions of the interview spiritually uncomfortable, especially if imaginative prayer is not part of your spiritual practices.

If you are up for the challenge and would like to listen, I’ll extend to you the same invitation that was given to me in my first Master of Divinity class. When you feel spiritually challenged, pause and sit with the discomfort for a bit. Don’t judge it. Just sit with it. Ask yourself what you are feeling. Think about what parts of your belief system are being challenged. Then, try to identify the source of this belief. Did the belief come from your family, your faith tradition, the Catholic sister who taught you in third grade, something you read, your understanding of scripture, a priest, the Catechism, or your own perceptions? I have found that by identifying the origins of my beliefs I am better able to open myself to listening to those with whom I might not agree. 

Have you ever experienced walking into a room full of women and becoming acutely aware of walking on holy ground as the perception of the Holy Spirit surrounds you? That is the strength of community, and that is the dimension of community I experience in Theresians. When I was in my thirties, as a new Theresian I went to a day of prayer at the Cenacle and when I entered the retreat room, I will never forget that feeling. It was a warmth of God’s love, of the Spirit of all those women’s energy in one room that just radiated like a star to me. I thought that day I hope someday to be like them.

March 5, 2022, I attended the Fort Bend Theresian Day of Prayer with our new executive director, Tammy Townsend Denny as our guest speaker. The title was “The Feminine Breath of God.” I reflected on how we have come a long way from our inception as a religious foundation of 1961 with Monsignor Elwood Voss, and Patricia Mullen, then our Executive Director Sister Roseann Barmann, OSB. In 2000 we called forth Vicki Schmidt who was the first single lay woman. In 2021, Tammy Townsend Denny, who is married with children and a converted Catholic with a career became our executive director, and most of us can relate to her vocation. She spoke about how her faith seed was planted in her journey with God by a Baptist woman Sunday school teacher. Just from her description alone, I will take the liberty to say this Sunday school teacher has all qualities of an honorary Theresian. Tammy has a strong foundation in Gospel values and a thirst for learning that has brought her to Theresians. The day of prayer was her first large group experience as speaker as she spoke of the Feminine Breath of God through the examples of Eve, the Wisdom of Sophia, and of Mary Magdalene. 

So, why do I speak of this day of prayer? Imagine the energy of one and multiply that by the energy of all the women of a Theresian Day of Prayer! Our awareness and perception are enhanced with community and all the dimensions come together in community. We were Educated; we shared our stories (Ministry); we prayed as one and in Community which builds our Spirituality; and, we shared our stories as we go home and live our Vocation as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and member of our church and work community. 

How we receive each day within our perception and how we respond to it is our journey; we are all on the journey of transformation and in Theresian community we see the reflection of God’s love and have a safe place “to Be.” In this 2022, coming out of our post COVID experience, we are challenged to rekindle our relationships and to rebuild our community as an example of God’s love.

When I think about all the blessings that Theresians has showered on my life, strength flows through it all. For a woman who grew up with four brothers and no sisters, I learned quickly to latch on to my mother, female cousins, aunts, grandmother for my community of women. There was never a void of love and wisdom in my large family, and the strength of the women is still very prominent in our family relationships. 

Because my mother modeled Theresians and friendships when I was growing up, I always thought it was not only amazing that she had so many friends (and still does), but also that it was important that she reach out beyond busy motherhood to be in community of women. She valued the spiritual strength that a woman could only get through female friendships and sharing. 

I have always valued my friendships with women. For the first 40 years of my life, my friendships with girlfriends were strong and always fulfilling. After I started my family, my Theresian community became the spiritual strength I didn't know I needed. It opened my eyes to the spiritual paths of others and allowed me to find comfort in my own.

Community is belonging. It is a safe haven from the chaos of everyday life. There is strength in numbers within a community of Theresians. Women 'gathered in His name' becomes a catch-all for our spirituality, our hurts, our desires, our strengths and our weaknesses. The community becomes the ears who hear me, the friends who do the heavy lifting when I am down. My dreams are shared, my heart is encouraged to prosper, and my mind is encouraged to accept what is. Grief when going through loss or during difficult times is lessened by the caress of my community of girlfriends. 
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This doesn't just apply to my local community, but to the Theresian organization as a whole. I have been strengthened spiritually by just being together with my Theresian sisters whether it be here in the USA or internationally. These women are friends that will last my lifetime. They make sense of what's real and important. In a world that seems to be in crisis, the strength of community brings joy and length to all our years.

“God will never give you more than you can handle.” How many times have you heard this before? Sometimes I just want to say, “Enough already! God, I think I am strong enough! Can’t I just coast for a while?” 

In 1 Corinthians 10:13, Paul tells us: “God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength but with your testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to bear it.” 

It is when I doubt God’s faithfulness and question His timetable that I find myself overwhelmed by the crisis before me. What I often fail to recognize in the midst of the crisis is that God has equipped me with resilience. This is the skill and ability to bounce back from difficult times and to be stronger than I was before. It is during these tests by fire that our character is shaped, that our faith is strengthened, and that we fully appreciate the blessings in our life.

When I think of the last two years as we have weathered this pandemic, I reflect on how overwhelming and hopeless it all has seemed. I felt so helpless. So many people suffering and dying. After all, what could one middle-aged, retiree do? How could I help ease the suffering of others other than pray?

Never underestimate the power of prayer. During this past summer, a dear friend and neighbor was stricken with Covid-19. Dan was hospitalized for over a month, and it did not look like he would make it. During this time, Dan’s wife kept our close-knit neighborhood apprised of Dan’s condition through regular text messages. Lisa requested prayers. So, we all prayed. Prayers were shared through daily texts by a group of friends and neighbors. While we had all known each other for 25+ years, we had never really prayed together before. Nothing like this. After over a month in the hospital and a few weeks in rehab, Dan made it home to Lisa, where he continues to recover. What a blessing!
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Did we, as a prayer community, aid in Dan’s recovery? My voice added to the chorus of neighbors praying together for healing was both impactful and miraculous. Prayer is so powerful in the way it strengthens us and gives us courage to persevere. Resilience through faithfulness, what a gift in so many ways!